I maybe holding myself back from moving on.
I psyche myself into getting charged about letting go, everyday.
There's a huge part of me that just doesn't want to let go.
Letting Go means starting afresh. And I am tired, I don't want to start all over again. The push, the pull, the back and forth. I am not ready for this Tango.
Not right now.
(Not ever) says my heart.
'Hush, you fool! It's the only way'
(Am I really the fool here?)
'You aren't the smartest for sure!'
(Wait a little, let me re live the memories and feel a little before you turn me into a cold relentless blood pumper again. I don't want to let this end just yet. We hadn't felt like this is a while, had we?)
'I don't want to think about it'
(But what if you never get to feel like that again?!)
'I don't want to think about it'
(How can you just block everything? How are you functioning like nothing is wrong?)
'I don't want to think about it'
(You're mean)
'I know'
(You maybe schizophrenic as well)
'I know'
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